I have been overweight for most of my entire life. No, that is too kind, let me rephrase that. I have been obese for most of my adult life. As much as it pains me to admit it, I have been morbidly obese. That is such a difficult word to use, but it is absolutely true.
My highest weight fluctuated wildly between 275 to 230 pounds. Ironically enough, I wasn't unhappy with myself. I was just me and I accepted being overweight. I knew nothing else and therefore didn't feel called to change anything. All of that changed while I was in my mid 30's. All of a sudden there were two factors staring me in the face making me think long and hard about my health and more specifically my weight.
The first thing that made me sit up and take notice was the fact that I was relatively newly married. I had always dreamt of having children and raising a family. I began to think about the issues that are common in overweight people, those important things like actually being capable of conceiving a child and being able to safely carry a child to full term. I was scared senseless. I didn't want to give up my dreams! I knew that I had to do anything and everything to prepare my body for a pregnancy. The other factor that made me sit up and notice was my age. I was in my 30's. Previously, when someone mentioned my weight and the possible health issues that my extreme weight could/may cause I brushed them off. "I'm young," I would staunchly declare. It wasn't until I was in my 30's that I started to realize that the excuse of 'being young' was quickly coming to an end.
I got serious! I started to research. I started to restrict my diet. I started to workout. I was hot on the trail of weight loss and I started to see some success. I lost the first 40-50 pounds easily and then I stalled out. I decided that I needed more, so I joined Weight Watchers. It was just what I needed. It was the right combination of knowledge and direction during the meetings, accountability through the weigh ins and support from my fellow weight watcher attendees. I managed to make my lifetime goal and weighed 180 pounds (I was still above the BMI weight, but my doctor didn't recommend me to lose more.)
I was over the top happy! I was on cloud nine and had more energy then I could possibly even describe! I felt GREAT!
Unfortunately, life wasn't great in other areas of my life. My marriage was crumbling. My finances were shot. Life was in a disarray and I couldn't keep up with my new lifestyle. I started to regain the weight. Oh, it was slow at first, but it came back.
I am lucky that I never regained ALL of my weight back. But getting back to 255 pounds was bad enough. Luckily, I never gave up totally. Even as I was gaining, I was running, religiously going to multiple Zumba classes each week and trying to lose weight. But I lacked the motivation and the willpower to make it happen.
I eventually met a man that quickly became the love of my life. As I settled into my life with Jason, I because extremely cognizant that my health was going to lead me down a dark hole. It very well could lead me to any number of weight related diseases and some of these disease could result in my death. I wanted to live a full and active life with Jason, so I began to get serious.
Through the years of my ups and downs on the scales, I have learned so many valuable lessons. I have learned tips and ideas. I have received and given amazing advice. This is where I plan to share these thoughts.
I chronicle my personal experiences of my weight loss journey on my website Belief in Myself. It is an open and honest look at the real emotions and thoughts and growth that comes through such and effort at losing weight. I have been writing on that site since 2006. I also have a youtube channel that has chronicled my journey since my recommitment to re-lose the weight that I gained.
Please feel free to join me on the journey of a lifetime!